M: Mom, I don’t think I have time to make a lunch before my next class, but I’m hungry.

Me: You’ve got to use your longer breaks to take care of your needs. But I can make you something.

M: I know. Ok.

Me: Do you want some lentilada?

M: Umm, maybe that would be good…

Me: But will you eat it if I give it to you?

M: Well probably some of it, but… it would help to know my… choices?

Me: Well, I have that to warm up or could make you a veggie burger.

M: That sounds better.

Me: Then, yes, I can do that.

We took a few minutes (after the veggie burger was prepped and plated) to talk about how it is important – especially as women – to ask for what we actually want. We can ask in a pleasant way, we can recognize we won’t always get what we want (availability or time may be a legitimate issue), but we can ALSO definitely ask for the thing we want. We don’t have to acquiesce, or deny our preferences, to make others happy or avoid rocking the boat.

It’s asking for the veggie burger you want today, and fighting for your good ideas to be heard in a room full of loud men talking over you tomorrow.

Parents definitely get over-asked sometimes, and there are certainly limits sometimes, but teach them and remind your daughters to ask for what they want and need. It’s something I  wish I’d heard repeatedly by the age 12. Praise them for asking about their desires. It is an essential life skill for our girls.