It’s inherently uncomfortable, in many situations.
To stretch yourself to consider what must truly be going on in someone’s mind… their reasoning… their choices… is not an exercise many of us want to engage in.
When we judge, or write someone off as an idiot, we firmly shut a door.
It keeps the world black and white, and distances us from the threat of self-condemnation.
It’s easier, and brings our mental landscape reassurance and comfort.
“They’re an idiot. I’m not.”
“How could their kid [do xyz]? Mine would never…”
Even when we ask, “WHY would they do that?!” we don’t really always want to engage in understanding what led up to a person’s choice.
“Because they’re an idiot” is often all the energy we have to give a difficult subject.
Believe me, with the stress and noise of the opinionated 24/7 news cycle, that’s understandable.
But I hope we’ll sometimes go there and truly take a few minutes to consider what it must be like to be in someone else’s shoes.
Empathy asks us to sit with questions and discomfort, and to not understand everything at once.
When exercised, empathy ultimately broadens our perspectives and serves as a way to connect with others – and with our own darkness and shadows.
Empathy engages both our thinking selves and our feeling selves, and that’s another part of why it can be so hard to do.
It can open doors that are more easily slammed shut.
It might not give us easy answers to all of our questions, but it gives us the essential skills of asking, seeking, and not knowing.
We may still ultimately conclude someone is an idiot, but we may also understand others – and our own values – better.
And we also find we can contribute more compassion to a world that sorely lacks it.
alive. awake. uncomfortable. 