We should be uncomfortable with this

I am feeling my blog title acutely, in the wake of ANOTHER mass school shooting.

Alive: Well, in a country with a gun obsession that claims to be more about “my rights!” than worshiping guns, I made it another day in the USA without being gunned down in a supermarket, church, school, public park, or at a concert. Thankfully, I’m alive. And yet, 19 4th graders and 2 teachers AREN’T. (Not to mention a supermarket full with shoppers, or any other recent mass shooting you want to bring up.)

Awake: Much because it’s hard to sleep, or even relax, with my mind running in circles. This kind of tragedy KEEPS happening. The same arguments (it’s mental health! it’s guns! it’s the decay of morals!) KEEP happening. The leadership KEEPS not acting. Nothing gets done. It keeps happening and it’s making my body electric with anxiety. Something has to change!

Uncomfortable: There are images of smart, smiling 4th graders everywhere I turn. 4th graders that were alive and looking forward to summer break 2 days ago. They are dead. And their families and schools and communities will NEVER be the same. I can’t help but squeezing my kids (who will let me) a little tighter, but it’s sickening that these innocent kids will never go to summer camp, get to middle school, have another birthday, or be tucked in by their parents again. Because they are DEAD, last moments lived in terror and are now simply bodies mangled and torn apart by rounds of gunfire.

I hate even thinking about these kids as dead, but we should be uncomfortable.

Every time we do absolutely nothing, we absolutely dishonor those who died – and their mourning families that remain – in such violence and terror.

The majority of my social media is abuzz with lamenting, disappointment in leadership, and calls for things to change.

Though there are some noticeable silences from my friends who are quick to defend their 2nd ammendment rights.

And yet, this is reality.

Schools have adjusted: they have trained their kids in drills, they have taught more about social wellness, compassion, and kindness than I ever learned as a kid who was bullied, they have added security measures. In some states where teachers can actually carry a weapon in a school building, some choose to.

Mental health workers have adjusted: there are more programs and resources on pro-social behavior available in schools than there have ever been. Funding doesn’t always exist, but social workers and therapists see all the people they can in a week. They report troubling threats and dangerous behavior as they witness it. Waiting lists are long, co-pays are too high, and hospital stays are too short, and this could definitely improve with universal health care. But those who work in the field are doing whatever they can to help people deal with anger, delusions, and hate-driven ideologies and behaviors.

Gun advocates and lobbies have….???: They haven’t required insurance to own guns. They haven’t made guns safer despite technology being developed that only allows owners to shoot guns. They have spoken about storing guns safely and inaccessible to kids, but no one checks up on that. They have not restricted sales to people recently hospitalized or under mental health care. They have not done background searches on prospective buyer’s social media. They sell automatic rifles to people, which are not used for hunting or sport. They haven’t placed limits on huge magazines of ammunition. They haven’t advocated to require testing or training to insure competent ownership.

…

“But bad guys will always be able to get guns!”

So let’s take steps to make it a little freaking harder. If you’re a self-professed “good guy”, you’ll come up clean in a background check and take the steps of a responsible gun owner and it won’t be a big deal.

“But bad guys will always find a way to kill!”

Yup, and if that kid had run at a playground with a knife or a baseball bat, he still might have killed someone. Maybe 2 people, and yes, that would be horrible. But in no way would he have ever managed to kill 21 people.

Guns may not “kill people” but they make it a HELL OF A LOT EASIER.

“This is a heart problem, not a gun problem.”

So let’s work on people’s hearts, values, and morality. We can all be part of it, but recognize it’s a lifelong project. And in the meantime, let’s regulate and MAKE IT HARDER for people with ill-intent to access deadly weapons.

“I blame social media addiction, families not eating dinner together anymore, and no one growing up in a church.”

Life changes. It’s not that these things aren’t of value, but we need to look forward as social media and family changes aren’t going to go away. Bemoaning an idealized version of the past is just another way to give up and not take action.

And folks, “morality” (as listed above) may look like it’s all but gone to you, but I will tell you a little story about my second born.

My 10yo (who is obsessed with turning 11 because having an end of the school year birthday is torture) is autistic. His lack of filter and repetitive tendencies will sometimes annoy his peers. But in the few instances where a kid or two has chosen to hone in on that or gang up on him, his teachers tell me that he EASILY has double the amount of kids jump to his defense.

“Leave Soren alone! You know he has trouble with that!”

“Hey, don’t talk to him like that!”

“Don’t listen to them, Soren! Come sit with us!”

They don’t do this because they have to, but because they are a kind, aware, inclusive generation who are learning from loving parents, engaged and loving teachers. They may be only 10, but they know not everyone fits in a box. They know that everyone has different gifts. They routinely respect and utilize each other’s pronouns. They understand neurodiversity leaps and bounds more fully than we ever did in 1989.

I call them the “born this way” generation as they grew up in the loving light of Lady Gaga, and somehow manage to amaze me with their deep values of loving acceptance.

…

And for the kids that struggle with being kind and inclusive and loving? Who may be abused, bullied at home, and/or act out in hateful ways on social media and in real life?

Let’s build them up too, and show them another way.

Let’s fund their mental health counseling and care; make those waiting times shorter.

Let’s also make it harder for them to access guns. At home, online, and with the help of technology.

Let’s make it harder for everyone to access guns.

Let’s vote out politicians who tell you this about “taking your freedom and your guns.”

It isn’t about taking your guns away, it’s about regulating them (remember the adjective “well regulated” in the 2nd amendment?) and keeping people safe.

The US is the only nation where this kind of shit happens constantly.

I promise you, good guys with guns, that you can follow some rules and regulations and be part of the solution too.

I’m alive, awake, and uncomfortable, and that’s a gift.

May I use my life, my open and awake eyes, and my discomfort with the continued killing of kids and innocent people, to be part of the solution.